Roman Toilet Humor Activity

As of tomorrow (April 16), I will be one full month into digital learning...and still over a month to go! 

As our students and we worry about COVID-19 symptoms, let's turn to a lighthearted activity on bodily functions instead! Back when we were in school, I had a "fun Friday" of learning about ancient Roman toilet humor. Why? We had read in my adapted translation into Latin from Greek of Homeric Hymn 4 to Hermes the scene in which Apollo, angry at Mercury/Hermes for stealing his cattle, picks up the latter (who is barely a day old) and Mercury/Hermes sneezes and farts (which, I learned from my students, is aptly called a "snart") in his brother's face. Plus I just love working on silly and irreverent topics with students (you can shove your serious AP themes, College Board!). 💩

For this activity, students matched pictures around the classroom with various (some adapted) quotes from the ancient Romans about various bodily functions. The quotes are divided into three categories: the (in)famous Ostia bathhouse philosopher fresco quotes, ancient Roman graffiti and inscriptions, and quotes from ancient Roman literature (Martial and Petronius). 

The first category consists of quotes painted on the walls of a bathhouse in Ostia, Rome's port city. The quotes appear next to paintings of famous Greek philosophers and consist of words of wisdom for dealing with bodily functions. To put it in 2020 terms, imagine posting quotes from Einstein, Isaac Newton, or Maya Angelou that give advice on defecation and flatulence! These are three I included:

• Solon patted his belly to have a nice dump.
• Thales recommended that people should strain when they are having a hard time crapping.
• Clever Chilon taught us how to fart silently. 

The next category comes from ancient Roman graffiti and inscriptions. One interesting cultural insight to share with students is that relieving oneself on tombstones and graves was a common practice in the ancient Mediterranean world. Why? Burial was usually forbidden within settlements, so tombs were erected outside of towns alongside roads. When one travels from town to town with few or no rest stops, nature inevitably calls and graves provide a place to do one's business discretely. 

The last category consists of adapted quotes from the ancient Roman authors Martial and Petronius, both known for writing about the obscene side of ancient Roman culture. These are the quotes I included:

• I see nothing else that makes me believe that you are a friend than the fact that you usually fart in front of me.
• [This man] heads for the [toilet] seats and farts ten times and twenty times.
• Eat lettuce and soft mallows because you have the look of constipation.
• A kisser will kiss someone with a fever and someone while they're crying. And they will even give a kiss to someone while they are crapping.
• Therefore if any of you wanted to relieve themselves, it is nothing to be ashamed of. I believe that there is no greater form of torture than holding it in...nor do I forbid anyone in the dining room from doing what could make them feel better and what doctors tell us not to hold in.

Below are the materials for this activity. The first two pages are a two-sided worksheet for students (the quotes on the front and a glossary on the back). Next are the pictures I posted around the room. Enjoy! Stay safe and healthy!